Child Support

DIVORCED FATHER:
“When you go back to your Mom’s tonight, give her this envelope and tell her that since you are now 18, this is the last check she’ll ever see from me for child support. Then, stand back and watch the expression on her face.”

DAUGHTER:
“O.K.”

Later…

DAUGHTER:
“Mom, Dad asked me to give you this envelope. He said to tell you that since I’m now 18, this is the last child support payment he’ll ever have to make to you. Now I’m supposed to stand back and watch the expression on your face.”

DIVORCED MOTHER:
“Next time you visit your father, tell him that after 18 years I have decided to inform him that he’s not your father…… then, stand back and watch the expression on his face.”

500$…

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower,when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over who should answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says: “I’ll give you $500 to drop that towel that you have on.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $500 and leaves.

Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower: “Who was that?”

“It was Bob, our next door neighbor,” she replies.

“Great,” the husband says; “did he say anything about the $500 he owes me?”

Microsoft WorldWideTelescope Launches

Microsoft launched WorldWideTelescope, it’s downloadable answer to Google Sky, Google Earth and Google Moon, yesterday.The WorldWide Telescope (WWT) is a Web 2.0 visualization software environment that enables your computer to function as a virtual telescope—bringing together imagery from the best ground and space-based telescopes in the world for a seamless exploration of the universe.  Other than being a bit of a memory hog (understandable for the power it provides) and requiring the latest version of DivX and .Net framework to install, WWTelescope is a pretty amazing program. You can aimlessly browse around the solar system and beyond, zooming in with incredible detail on Earth, the moon, other planets or galaxies, or you can download a professional tour of any of the above. Each item you look at comes with various “Imagery” options. You can check out satellite images of Earth, a street view, a hybrid of both or use the incredible cool “Earth at Night” mode. The options for viewing space are too numerous to numerate. For a quick fix, you can browse through various collections of space images, like those taken from the Hubble or Chandra telescopes, and see where in space those images are from.

If anything, WWTelescope is too advanced, offering a slew of advanced and sometimes incomprehensible options aimed at professionals and true hobbyists. You can even hook up your telescope to it. But it’s still great, interesting fun for the average user. I just wasted an hour or so “researching” it for this article, and left with the same semi-accomplished feeling I get when I waste time on Wikipedia.

Microsoft products have often fallen behind Google on the coolness factor of their products. This time they definitely have the search giant beat.

Social Media Optimization and its rules…

Social media optimization (SMO) is a set of methods for generating publicity through social media, online communities and community websites. Methods of SMO include adding RSS feeds, adding a “Digg This” button, blogging and incorporating third party community functionalities like Flickr photo slides and galleries or YouTube videos. Social media optimization is related to search engine marketing, but differs in several ways, primarily the focus on driving traffic from sources other than search engines, though improved search ranking is also a benefit of successful SMO.

 13 Rules of SMO

1. Increase your linkability : Think blogs, content, aggregation & linkbait.

2. Make tagging and bookmarking easy : Include calls to action for users to tag, bookmark and Digg your stuff. I’d suggest the Sociable Plugin if you have a WordPress powered blog.

3. Reward inbound links : List blogs which link back to you via permalinks, trackbacks or recently linking blogs (like the Yahoo & Google blogs do).

4. Help your content travel : Content diversification can lead to mobility of your content beyond the browser.

5. Encourage the mashup : Let others use your content or tools to produce something a bit different or outside of the box with your stuff, even RSS.

6. Be a User Resource, even if it doesn’t help you : Add value and outbound links, even if it doesn’t help in the short term, it will in the long.

7. Reward helpful and valuable users : Give your contributors and readers the recognition they deserve.

8. Participate : Get in there and get involved in the discussions going on among the blogs and sites of others, and do it organically. Earn your rep on Digg.com, don’t try and force it.

9. Know how to target your audience : Understand your appeal and those people you wish to attract.

10. Create content : A little bit of rules 1 & 4 here, but the underlying message is know the form of content working for you.

11. Be real : Transparency pays off and no one likes a fake.

12. Don’t forget your roots, be humble : Sometimes it can be easy to get carried away being a BlogStar or industry talking head. Remember those who helped you along the way, and that respect will help all involved.

13. Don’t be afraid to try new things, stay fresh : Social Media is changing and morphing by the minute, keep up on new tools, products and challenges in your social sphere.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Indian Hell

Cute Children

Top 10 Monsters..

10. Ogopogo

Canada reputedly has more lake monsters than any other country, boasting no fewer than a dozen in its cold waters. It’s no surprise, therefore, that Lake Okanagan, located in British Columbia, might be home to one of the world’s top ten monsters. The lake monster, dubbed Ogopogo (from an old music hall song) is unique in that native Indians in the region used to make live sacrifices to a water spirit in the lake as they crossed in boats near the reputed home of Ogopogo, Monster Island. Though any connection between the Indian legend and a modern monster is pure speculation, many eyewitnesses continue to report odd things in the lake. According to John Kirk, Ogopogo expert and president of the British Columbia Scientific Cryptozoology Club, there is far better evidence for the existence of a mysterious monster in Canada’s Lake Okanagan than at Loch Ness. So if you happen to vacation on Okagangan’s shores, bring your camera!

9. Dragons

Perhaps the oldest monster of folklore, there are many variations on dragons and giant serpents. The Bible’s Book of Isaiah describes Leviathan, a monstrous sea serpent dragon. Some of the most developed dragons come from Chinese cultures; in fact for centuries some rural Chinese dug up (and made tea from) dinosaur bones, believing they were from dragons. The West is rich in dragon folklore as well; stories of a Christian martyr named George who slew a fearsome dragon later became known as Saint George the Dragon Slayer. While dragons are ancient, they are more popular now than at any other time in history, appearing in role-playing games such as Dungeons and Dragons and popular films such as “Lord of the Rings.”

8. Giant Squid

The giant squid is the only Top Ten Monster that is known to be real, though for centuries its existence was often rumored. Ancient sea stories told of the fearsome Kraken, a huge many-tentacled beast, said to attack ships and sailors on the high seas. Biologists finally verified the existence of a true sea monster: the mysterious giant squid Architeuthis. Dead specimens periodically wash up on the world’s beaches, most often on islands whose name begins with “New”: Newfoundland and New Zealand. The largest giant squid specimen was estimated to be 65 feet long, but the monster remained elusive until 2004, when Japanese zoologists filmed a giant squid at depth for the first time. The creature was about 26 feet long, was found nearly 3,000 feet below the surface.

7. Champ

Often referred to as “America’s Loch Ness Monster,” the mysterious creature in Lake Champlain (which borders Vermont, New York, and Canada) is called Champ. Descriptions of the beast vary widely, but is it said to be anywhere from ten to over one hundred feet long, have dark skin, and several humps. Its head supposedly resembles a snake or dog. A photograph claimed to be of the monster was published in The New York Times in 1981, giving the monster national notoriety, and was considered the best evidence for Champ–in fact for any lake monster. Ironically, the photograph that propelled Champ to stardom was later revealed in a 2003 investigation to be almost certainly an image of a floating log instead of a lake monster. While Champ sightings have waned in recent years, the legend is kept alive by the local minor league baseball team, the Vermont Lake Monsters.

6. Chupacabra

Bigfoot is named after its big footprints, and the dreaded chupacabra is also known for what it leaves behind: dead animals. Though goats are said to be its favorite prey (chupacabra means goat sucker in Spanish), they have also been blamed for attacks on cats, sheep, rabbits, dogs, chickens, ducks, hogs, and other animals. (There is no record of a chupacabra attacking a Bigfoot, though I’d like to see that.) Descriptions of chupacabra vary widely, but many accounts suggest that the creature stands about four to five feet tall. It has short but powerful legs, long claws, and terrifying, glowing red eyes. Chupacabras first gained wide notoriety in 1995 in Puerto Rico. No one knows for certain why or how the chupacabra suddenly sprang into existence, but many Latin Americans believe it is the unholy result of secret U.S. government experiments in the jungles of Puerto Rico. It had a heyday of about five years, when it was widely reported in Mexico, Chile, Nicaragua, Spain, Argentina, and Florida–almost exclusively in Spanish-speaking areas. While widely regarded as a myth, occasional chupacabra sightings are reported in the United States, primarily in Texas and New Mexico.

5.Sirens

A distant cousin of the mermaid (in folkloric terms anyway), the sirens were beautiful, alluring women who dwelled near rocky cliffs and sung to passing sailors. According to legends, the hapless seamen would become enchanted by the sirens’ song, following the mellifluous melody to their deaths as their boats crashed upon the rocky shore. It is an ancient morality tale about the evils of women, but not all sirens were so comely. Other accounts depict sirens as half-bird, half-women creatures who would lure travelers to their doom with harps instead of their voices. In Greek myth, Odysseus escaped the sirens by having his sailors plug their ears with beeswax, though in modern times doctors recommend soft foam earplugs for sailors who may encounter these dangerous monsters.

4. Loch Ness Monster

No list of monsters would be complete without the beastie said to inhabit Scotland’s Loch Ness. While Nessie is the world’s most famous lake monster, it is far from the only one. In fact, there are hundreds (by some counts thousands) of lakes across the globe said to harbor monsters. The earliest eyewitness account of the Loch Ness monster dates back only to May 1933. Since that time, the monster–real or not–has been a major tourism boon for Inverness and other towns along the lake. Loch Ness has been repeatedly searched for over seventy years, trying to verify the occasional sightings, photos, and videos. In 2003, a team from the BBC scoured the lake using 600 separate sonar beams and satellite navigation; they turned up no monsters. Still, the public’s interest in Nessie remains high: a film about the monster opened Christmas day and earned $2.4 million.

3. Werewolves

The fearsome werewolf is a fascinating blend of man and beast. Some believe that a werewolf terrorized the French countryside in 1764, when a strange wolflike creature killed dozens of villagers; the fictionalized story was depicted in the film “Brotherhood of the Wolf.” The werewolf is only one variation of lycanthropy, the ancient belief that certain people have the ability to change into animals, either at will, on certain dates, or on full moons. Witches and vampires, for example, are said to become cats, bats, and wolves on occasion. While the werewolf’s origins are unclear, an unusual disease that causes excessive body hair (called hypertrichosis) may have contributed to belief in werewolves–in fact sideshow performers with the disease were once exhibited as werewolves or “wolfmen.” The connection with the full moon likely came about because of wolves’ and dogs’ tendency to bark at the moon, but stories of silver bullets didn’t arise until much later.

2. Vampires

A century after Bram Stoker modeled his Dracula character after Romanian national hero Vlad Tepes, interest in vampires has never been stronger. From Dracula to the “Blade” films, from Anne Rice novels to “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” no single monster has captured the public’s imagination the way vampires have. At once both sensual and scary, vampire lore has inspired a thriving goth subculture. Despite strong evidence that vampires are a fictional creation, some people even claim to be vampires, conducting arcane rituals and consuming blood from willing donors. Let’s hope they show up for the blood drive!

1. Bigfoot

Bigfoot is of course the world’s marquee monster, having had pizzas and monster trucks named after it. Bigfoot is known not for what it is (since no one knows for certain what it is, or if it even exists), but what it supposedly leaves behind: large footprints. Bigfoot’s high profile is largely due to a short film taken in 1967 in Bluff Creek, California. This is the classic footage of Bigfoot, showing a furry, man-sized creature walking across a clearing. The film has never been proven authentic, and many suspect a hoax. It is also odd that the film remains the best evidence for Bigfoot 40 years later, despite the fact that video cameras are better, cheaper, and in more hands than ever before; surely if it was not a hoax someone would have recorded a film as good or better since then. Perhaps Bigfoot’s most amazing quality is its ability to leave no hard evidence of its existence. No teeth, bones, live or dead ones have been found. By one estimate, there should be hundreds of thousands of Bigfoot in North America, yet not one of them has been hit by a car, shot by a hunter, or found dead by a hiker.

Gone are the days…

Gone are the days!!
When
The school reopened in June,
And we settled in our new desks and
benches!

When we queued up in book depot,
And got our new books
and notes!

When we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays, yet
managed to line up daily for the morning prayers.
We learnt writing with
slates and pencils, and
Progressed To fountain pens and ball pens and then Micro tips!

When we began drawing with crayons and evolved to
Color pencils and finally sketch pens!

When we started calculating
first with tables and then with
Clarke’s tables and advanced to
Calculators and computers!

When we chased one another in the
corridors in Intervals, and returned to the classrooms
Drenched in sweat!

When we had lunch in classrooms, corridors,
Playgrounds,
under the trees and even in cycle sheds!

When all the colors in the world,
Decorated the campus on the Second Saturdays!

When a single P.T. period in the week’s Time Table,
Was awaited more eagerly than the monsoons!

When cricket was played with writing pads as bats,
And Neckties and socks rolled into balls!

When few played
“kabadi” and “Kho-Kho” in scorching sun,
While others simply played
“book cricket” in the
Confines of classroom!
Of fights but no conspiracies,
Of Competitions but seldom jealousy!

When we used to
watch Live Cricket telecast,
In the opposite house in Intervals and Lunch breaks!

When few rushed at 3:45 to
“Conquer” window seats in our School bus!
While few others had “Big Fun”, “peppermint”,
“kulfi”, ” milk ice !” and “sharbat !” at 4o Clock!

Gone are the days
Of Sports Day,
and the annual School Day ,
And the one-month long
preparations for them.

Gone are the days
Of the stressful Quarterly,
Half Yearly and Annual Exams, And the most
enjoyed holidays after them!

Gone are the days
Of tenth and twelfth standards, when
We Spent almost the whole year writing revision tests!
We learnt,
We enjoyed,
We played,
We won,
We lost,
We laughed,
We cried,
We fought,
We thought.
With so much fun in them, so many friends,
So much experience, all this and more!

Gone are the days
When we used
to talk for hours with our friends!
Now we don’t have time to say a `Hi’!
Gone are the days
When we played games on the road!
Now we
Code on the road with laptop!

Gone are the days
When we saw stars
Shining at Night!
Now we see stars when our code doesn’t
Work!

Gone are the days
When we sat to chat with Friends on grounds!
Now we chat in chat rooms…..!

Gone are the days
Where we
studied just to pass!
Now we study to save our job!

Gone are the days
Where we had no money in our pockets and still fun filled on our hearts!!
Now we have the atm as well as credit card but with an empty heart!!

Gone are the days
Where we shouted on the road!
Now we don’t shout even at home

Gone are the days
Where we got lectures from all!
Now we give lectures to all… like the one I’m doing now….!!

Gone are the days
But not the memories, which will be
Lingering in our hearts for ever and ever and
Ever and ever and ever …..

Gone are the Days…. But still there are lot more Days to come in our Life!!

NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE,

DONT FORGET TO

LIVE THE LIFE THAT STILL EXISTS………

Wall with three faces..

Here is a short story that may strike one as simple but is, on the other hand, fraught with meaning. A philosopher was walking down a street when he saw a man busy at work. “What are you doing?’ he asked. ‘Can’t you see? I am putting one brick over another!’, answered the person. The philosopher walked on until he came to another man doing the same thing. ‘What are you doing?’ he asked him. Without turning around, the man answered him, ‘I am building a wall.’ The philosopher continued on his walk.

Soon he came upon yet another man doing the same work and he asked him the same question. This time the worker looked at him, smiled and said, ‘I am building a hospital where the sick can be cured.’ The philosopher returned his smile. Continuing his walk, he mused, ‘Three men doing the same work but one is a pessimist, another is a realist and the third an idealist.’ The pessimist of course was the first man, placing one brick on top of another mechanically. He paid little attention to his work and derived no enjoyment from what he was doing. Obviously he was learning nothing from it either. His intention was to do the least work for the most money he could get. He would as soon break bricks as put them together and was nothing more than a human machine.

The second man who was building a wall was putting more of himself into his task. He would probably work towards building the best wall that he could. He had a goal in mind and was working towards it sincerely. He would gather experience as he went along and the future would see him build stronger walls and also houses in which people would live in comfort. He was engaged in a promising livelihood which would enable him to look after his family. The third man was all this and more. He possessed vision and nurtured a dream in his mind. His interest went beyond the family and embraced his neighbors, friends and strangers. Work represented to him more than just earning a living. He was willing not only to discharge his duties but shoulder responsibilities as well.

Do you wonder into which category you would fall? There will be times when we feel like the pessimist, that life has scant meaning and it matters little what we do. Most of the times, we are realists leading ordinary but useful lives. It is given only to a few to be idealists all the time. They are the Mahatmas, the great thinkers. We can be realists taking life in our stride, doing our best at the same time to emulate the idealists. The most important thing to keep in mind about motivation is that we cannot motivate others. Motivation comes from within – people motivate themselves. The only thing a supervisor, a manager, or anybody else can do is to create the conditions for people towards motivation themselves

Salty Coffee!!!

Love the story so just wanna share it…

He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to being polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please; let me go home…. suddenly he asked the waiter: “would you please give me some salt? I’d like to put it in my coffee.”

Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously; why you have this hobby?
He replied: “when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I like playing in the sea, and I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there”. While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched. That’s his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family.

That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story. They continued to date.
She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him!
Thanks to his salty coffee!

Then the story was just like every beautiful love story, the princess married to the prince, and then they were living the happy life… And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee as she knew that’s the way he liked it.

After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: “My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you—the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt.
It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything. Now I’m dying, I m afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don’t like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste.. But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again”.

Her tears made the letter totally wet.Someday, someone asked her: what’s the taste of salty coffee?
It’s sweet. She replied.

Love is not 2 forget but 2 forgive,
not 2 c but 2 understand,
not 2 hear but 2 listen,
not 2 let go but 2 HOLD ON !!!!

Don’t ever leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love.. Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot. Who calls you back when you hang up on him. Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends. Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says,

“..that’s her.”